Moulin Rouge, OSH Style
by Sailor J-chanDuoxHilde 4ever
Summary: OSH is doing a play...Moulin Rouge! Just guess who get the lead! Things get even more crazy when Hercule, Krillin, Roshi, Goten, and Marron make appearances, and the play begins intertwining with their lives...R/R! Ch. 4 up!
1. The Play

Disclaimer-If I owned DBZ _and_ Moulin Rouge, my name would either be 'Baz Luhrman' or 'Akira Toriyama'. Check my bio for my real name.

Summary-Orange Star High School is doing a play, and the first choice: Moulin Rouge! Guess who are cast for Christian and Satine?

The Play

"Ew!" Erasa exclaimed, poking at the stuff they plopped on her lunch tray.

"Is this food, or did someone puke on my plate?" Videl asked, sitting down with her best friend.

Sharpner, of course, was gobbling down the food. "You gonna eat that?" he asked, eyeing Videl's plate.

"Here, have it," she said, pushing the tray away from her.

"Have mine, too," Erasa said, pushing her plate away.

Gohan laughed and opened his capsule. A mountain of rice, sausage, and a huge bowl of soup appeared before him.

"Will you split that?" Erasa begged Gohan.

"Sure." 

Both Erasa and Videl attacked the food, along with Gohan.

"Excuse me, students!" a very loud, very annoying teacher shouted through a bullhorn.

Everyone turned to look at her.

"The Drama teacher, Ms. Wiese, has announced that the play has been decided. Orange Star High is proud to present…Moulin Rouge!"

*Insert scattered claps*

"All proceeds from the ticket sales shall go towards more cooks for the cafeteria!"

*Insert wild cheering*

"Those who wish to sign up can sign the registration at the Drama department."

*Insert a few losers starting to walk to the Drama department*

"Participating in the play will automatically entitle a student to an A on the report card."

*Insert stampede*

Before long, Erasa's, Videl's, Gohan's, and Sharpner's names were penciled into the sign-up sheet.

"All right," Ms. Wiese said, looking at her list. "Videl Satan and Gohan Son, please act out Satine's sick scene."

"Where were you last night?" Gohan said, as he looked over the script's edge.

"I told you, I was sick," Videl protested as Satine.

"You don't have to lie to me."

(A/N: I can't go any further for dialogue, because my DVD has a scratch and I can't get it to play right until the Come What May chapter)

Ms. Wiese looked on in astonishment as the act proceeded. Were there ever two people more fit for this part? No one else she had seen had this much thespian blood in them.

Others went on as Satine and Christian, but Ms. Wiese had decided the part.

"I'm going to make the best Christian ever," Sharpner boasted to Videl.

"Yeah. Whatever." The raven-haired girl rolled her eyes.

"Attention, students!" the principal shouted over the bullhorn. "The postings for Moulin Rogue are posted in the Commons Area. Will everyone who tried out for the play please report to the Commons Area?"

*Insert stampede*

"Whoa, whoa, back up!" Ms. Wiese shouted, tearing the list from the wall as everyone who tried out came running into the room.

"Who got what? Who got what?" the entire room chanted.

"Quiet!" Ms. Wiese yelled, and there was silence. "I will read the castings out loud. For the part of the two guards…" she listed the least important characters first: the crowds, the stunt doubles, and the guards.

"Now, for the supporting roles," Ms. Wiese shouted. "I will list them in order:

Nini-Erasa Written!

Harold-Wade River!

And, now, for the lead characters!" she shouted.

The Duke-Sharpner Pencil!

Satine-Videl Satan!

Christian-Gohan Son!"

"WHAT?!" all three face-faulted.

"Thanks you to all those who tried out. I hope to see you again next year!"

Hehe. Raise your hand if you saw that coming! *Everybody raises hands*

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	2. Diamonds Are A Girl's Best Friend

Disclaimer-Moulin Rogue isn't mine. Otherwise, Satine DEFINITELY wouldn't have died.

A/N: This is their second year of High School. There was no Buu, and no tournament.

Diamonds Are A Girl's Best Friend

Videl sighed, wrapping her scarf around her neck. It was late November, and the sky was showing signs of snow.

Why had she even signed up for the play?

'Because you wanted to show your father that you were good at something besides fighting,' one side of her mind said.

'That, and you get to see Gohan every practice!' the other side said.

'Shut up,' said the first said. 'I don't like him.'

'You denial astounds me,' the second side said.

'PLEASE!' the first retorted. 'Boys are boys! He's probably just some jerk looking to get inside my pants.'

'I thought someone as smart as you—or me, since I _am_ you—wouldn't get Sharpner and Gohan confused.'

'Shut it. Boys are all alike. They just want my body and not me.'

'You're exceptionally paranoid.'

"Shut up," Videl said out loud, earning herself many stares from the people on the sidewalk. Dipping her head in embarrassment, she raced onwards.

"Hey baby, how you doing?"

Videl looked up to see a muscle-bound man looking down at her. He was taller than she was, and, from the looks of it, older than she was. "Fine," she said, moving to walk past him.

"How's about you and me get together sometime?" His hand caught her arm.

Videl swung her leg around in a kick. 

The man yelped and let go of her arm, holding onto his leg and hopping up and down on the other foot.

"There's no way, 'cause you can't pay," she said, reciting one of her lines, grinning triumphantly.

'Told you!' the first voice kicked up again.

'Quiet. Gohan's never made a pass at her—you—us—whatever!'

Videl punched in the security code to the gate. To her surprise, a woman her father's age was storming out, her expression one of rage. Videl recognized the woman as Alicia, the maid. 

"Alicia? What's wrong?"

"Your father," Alicia said angrily. "He'd better learn to keep his hands off my butt, or I'm not coming back! Men, honestly."

"Tell me about it," Videl said as she passed Alicia.

"Hey, Daddy," she said, dropping her scarf and hat on the mat by the door.

"How did try-outs go?" Hercule asked.

"I'm Satine," she said.

"That's great, sweetie-pie!" he crowed. Then, realization hit him. "Wait a sec…Satine has a kiss scene! Several kiss scenes! Videl, I won't allow it! I absolutely refuse for you to kiss some boy!"

But Videl had already slipped up the stairs to her room.

'Practice at home!'

That's what Mrs. Wiese had said. Videl remembered. Reaching into her pocket, she pulled out a cassette tape, labeled 'Moulin Rouge Songs'. Dropping her backpack and tossing her coat in the closet, she popped the cassette in her tape player. Reaching into her unzipped backpack, Videl pulled out her script and flipped to a certain page. She smiled when she read over the words.

"Now, this is the song for me," she said out loud as she flicked the 'On' switch on her cassette player and started singing.

__

The French are glad to die for love

They delight in fighting duels

But I prefer a man who lives

And gives expensive jewels

A kiss on the hand might be quite continental

But diamonds are a girl's best friend

A kiss may be grand

But it won't pay the rental on your humble flat

Or help to feed your pussycat

Men grow cold as girls grow old

And we all lose our charms in the end

But square-cut or pear-shaped

The rocks don't lose their shape

Diamonds are a girl's best friend

Tiffany's! Cartier!

'Cause we are living in a material world

And I'm a material girl

There may be a time when a lass needs a lawyer

But diamonds are a girl's best friend

There may be a time when a hard-boiled employer

Thinks you're 

(Here she pauses for Harold's part)

__

Diamonds are a girl's best…

Diamonds are a girl's best…

Diamonds are a girl's best friend

(She pauses again for the speaking roles) 

__

'Cause that's when the louses go back to their spouses

Diamonds are a girl's best friend

(Here she pauses again for the girls to sing Feel The Beat Of The Rhythm Of The Night, and the boys to sing Entertain Us)

__

Diamonds

Diamonds

Square-cut or pear-shaped

These rocks won't lost their shape

Diamonds are a girl's best…

The song immediately cut off. Videl remembered that it was the cue to Satine's first sick scene. Flipping the 'Off' switch, she twirled in a circle around her room, for once bringing a smile to her lips.

Her hand brushed against something on her desk, making it fall to the ground with a clink. Putting an end to her twirling, she stooped down to pick it up.

It was that silly little locket, with that picture of her, Erasa, and Gohan. Sharpner had wanted to be in it, but both girls had absolutely refused. (A/N: You can tell that S/E isn't one of my fave couples. Erasa's too good for the bum) Videl and Erasa stood side by side while Gohan stood behind them. Videl's arms were crossed and she had that trademark smirk of hers. Erasa was winking at the camera, her fingers in the 'gun' sign. Gohan was behind them, trying to duck because a bird was attacking his head. He had that smile on his face, that embarrassed smile that could turn any girl's head.

Videl smiled. She remembered well the day he'd given it to her…

'Happy birthday, Videl!' he had announced, handing her a tiny box. It was August 12th, her birthday.

'Gohan!' she had exclaimed. 'And I didn't get you anything back in May!'

Gohan had shrugged. 'It's okay. Just open it.'

He'd asked for nothing in return. That was the first time that had ever happened to her. Every boy she knew, sometimes even her father, had tried to sweet-talk her into favors. But Gohan asked for nothing, except to be her friend.

Snapping the locket shut, she fooled around with the clasp before managing to snap it around her neck.

Maybe…

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	3. Your Song

Disclaimer-See Ch. 1

Your Song

Gohan hopped off the Nimbus, and the puff of evaporated water flew away to do whatever clouds do. (A/N: I can just see it, a little bar scene where two Nimbuses fight over a female cloud…I'm a weird little girl, aren't I?)

"Gohan!" Goten yelled, stampeding towards his brother.

"Hey, squirt!" Gohan said, managing to stop his brother before he knocked him over.

"Goten, stop attacking your brother," Chichi said, standing in the doorway, brandishing a spatula. "I swear, you are so much like your father." She trailed off, her eyes starry, remembering her Goku. She snapped back to reality, realizing she hadn't gone through her Daily-Gohan-Interrogation™. "So, how was school?"

"Great."

"Got a lot of homework?"

"Not much."

"How did your try-outs go?"

"I'm Christian."

"Gohan, that's great!" She hugged her son before asking the impending question…"Who's Satine?"

"Videl."

Chichi's eyes lit up like diamonds, and her hands clasped together, holding the spatula between them. "How romantic! You and your girlfriend starring together in one of the most romantic plays of all time! This is a sign, I know it! I'll be a grandmother soon!"

"WHAT?!" Gohan yelped, blushing crimson red. "What makes you think that Videl is my girlfriend?"

"'Cause you talk about her all the time," Goten piped up. "In your sleep." Goten's eyes suddenly lit up mischievously. "Ooh, wait 'till I tell Trunks!"

"Goten, Mom, Videl is NOT my girlfriend!" Gohan yelped.

"Please, Gohan, your face is as red as a tomato," Chichi said. "You go and practice. Dinner will be ready in two hours."

"But I'm hungry now!" Goten whined, following Chichi into the kitchen.

"A little _too_ much like your father."

Gohan shook his head. "I have got the weirdest family."

He wet upstairs and threw his bookbag down. Quickly changing into his comfortable gi, he took out the tape to practice his songs.

He pulled out his radio and popped in the tape. While it set, he took out his songbook, opened up to the first song he had, and started singing.

__

My gift is my song

And this one's for you

And you can tell everybody 

That this is your song

It may be quite simple, but

Now that it's done

Hope you don't mind

I hope you don't mind

That I put down in words

How wonderful life is

Now you're in the world

Sat on the roof

And I kicked off the moss

Well, some of these verses, well they

They got me quite cross

But the sun's been kind

While I wrote this song

It's for people like you that

Keep it turned on

So excuse me forgetting

But these things I do

You see, I've forgotten

If they're green or they're blue

Anyway, the thing is

What I really mean

Yours are the sweetest eyes

I've ever seen

And you can tell everybody

This is your song

It may be quite simple, but

Now that it's done

Hope you don't mind

I hope you don't mind

That I put down in words

How wonderful life is

Now you're in the world!

Chichi and Goten were listening outside Gohan's door as he sang.

"A regular Ewen McGregor!" Chichi said. "She'll fall for him in no time!"

Goten laughed. "Gohan and Videl, sitting in a tree…"

That's chapter 3!

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	4. A New Cast

Disclaimer-Moulin Rogue and DBZ aren't mine

New Cast Members

M. Bulma was working in her lab when M. Trunks showed up.

"Hey Mom, what's shaking?" he asked.

"If you say that to me one more time, young man, I will kick your @$$."

M. Trunks laughed. "How about WAAAAAAAZZUUUUUUUUUP!!!!!!"

"That, I can live with," M. Bulma said, smiling. "Can you check on the time machine, Trunks?"

"Sure." M. Trunks went over to the Time Machine. Then…

"Oops."

M. Bulma looked up as a time portal opened up, sucking her son and the time machine he was unfortunately sitting in into itself. The portal closed with a SHWOOP!

M. Bulma stared for awhile, shrugged, and went back to tinkering on her machine.

"What do you mean, you've got mono?" Ms. Weise demanded.

"I mean I've got mono and can't work in the play."

"Oh, all right. Bye." Ms. Weise hung up the phone. She turned to the thespians awaiting her instructions. "We've lost another. That means Harold, Chocolat, Toulouse, the Doctor, The Argentinean, and Elizabeth are out!"

"I hope they get better soon" Gohan said.

*The people who play those parts are currently throwing a party at the Argentinean's house, hale and healthy*

"They'd better! I mean, Harold and the Argentinean are important, and we need the Doctor to shout 'Vive la vie de Boheme' near the end. Elizabeth needs to drop the sack on Warner's head. And Toulouse…he's like the nurse in Romeo and Juliet! He holds the play together!" Ms. Weise sighed. "Until further notice, this play practice is closed."

As the student filed out, Wade and the guy who plays Satie went up to Ms. Weise. 

"Ms. Weise, Mike here has to drop out of the play."

"WHAT?!"

"And I never wanted to be Harold. I'm willing to play Satie."

"But…Harold is a more important part than Satie!" Ms. Weise sighed. "All right. I'll change the casting."

"Thanks." Mike and Wade left the room.

"Here's your 20 bucks for covering for me," Mike said, handing Wade a 20.

"Thanks."

"Later, dude!" Mike went off to make-out with his girlfriend.

Wade went off to meet Gohan, Videl, Erasa, and Sharpner. He knew a pizza place that took American money.

"Too bad I have to be Nini," Erasa said to Videl, biting into her pizza. She and the group of friends were squeezed into a booth, practically sitting on each other. "I mean, I'm your best friend, and Nini is such a 6!tc# to Satine."

"She DOES kick Warner in the head, though," Videl said.

"True."

Unbeknownst to them, Trunks' time machine was getting might tired of being used, and decided to drop Trunks off at the nearest time portal. And the nearest open portal was…

"Trunks?!" Gohan stood up as the lavender-haired Saiyan prince from the future fell onto the floor of the pizza place WITHOUT his time machine, and managed to make Videl fall onto the floor, too, because she had been halfway sitting on him. (A/N: *Grins*)

"Gohan!" Videl yelped.

"Hottie!!" Erasa threw herself over the table, scrambled over, and went and pinched Trunks' cheek. As to the face or butt cheek, I'll leave that up to you readers.

Just then, Ms. Weise walked in, latched onto the arm of her boyfriend. She quickly took her arm off his when she saw her students. Then she saw Mirai…

"PERFECT!!" she crowed, running over to M. Trunks. "Young man, how'd you like to play the Argentinean in a High School production of Moulin Rouge? You'd love to? Thanks!"

And a very confused Mirai Trunks was cast as the Argentinean.

Krillin didn't know how he'd been stupid enough to let them have sugar. But the two kids were on sugar high because Krillin had been dumb enough to get them triple-scoop chocolate-vanilla swirl ice-cream cones. 

"OOOHHHDADDYIWANNAGOTOTOYSRUSANDGETLOTSALOTSALOTSATOYS!!!!!!!!" Marron yelled. 

"YEAHMRKRILLINIWANNAGOTOTOYSRUSANDGETLOTSALOTSALOTSALOTSATOYSTOO!!!!" Goten yelled.

A very weird girl with a stupid ponytail and loose glasses in a man's DBZ shirt and very baggy sweats suddenly appeared. "I will acknowledge anyone in the next chapter who deciphered what Goten and Marron said," she said, and disappeared, leaving Krillin to wonder what she was talking about. Then he decided that she had forgotten how to write an A/N and he skipped down the road singing "Tra-la-la" until he stopped and wandered why Funimation would allow anyone to write about him. Then he remembered a magical thing called Disclaimers that authors with time on their hands use when they write fanfiction. And then he decided that it was beyond his puny Anime mind to comprehend why she would bother making a ridiculous parody of the greatest movie of all time and decided to go see what his daughter and her friend were doing.

(A/N: And I WILL acknowledge anyone who deciphered what Goten and Marron said)

Goten and Marron were currently bouncing off the tops of telephone poles to see who could land first. Being 7-year-old Half-Saiyan/Half-Cyborg, they landed unharmed. Goten lost the majority of the races due to the fact that air passed between the space between his ears and kept him suspended in mid-air while Marron's superior brains brought her to Earth quicker.

Not really. Here I just got an idea to make fun of Goten. They were actually tied, and Goten is incredibly smart for a 7-year-old. This is just my pitiful attempt at humor.

One his way down, Goten accidentally ripped a piece of paper from a telephone pole.

"HEYMRKRILLINLOOKATTHISREADREADREADREAD!!!!!" Goten yelled, throwing the paper at Krillin.

Krillin picked it up fm the sidewalk where it had fallen and read it while Goten and Marron jumped around him as if on pogo sticks.

"It's an ad," he said. "Anyone willing and able to play The Doctor, Toulouse, Elizabeth, Chocolat, and Harold are asked to audition at the High School for the parts."

"And what's this?" a scratchy bass voice boomed, and Krillin, Marron, Goten, and Master Roshi—who had appeared outta nowhere—looked up to see Hercule coming down the street. "Why, it's a midget, two children, and an old guy! Bow to me, puny weak short people! BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!"

Marron and Goten kept on bouncing around. They were over top Hercule's head when their sugar high wore off and they fell.

CRASH!!!

Hercule was lying on the sidewalk, Marron and Goten safely perched on his swelled head.

Hercule immediately got up, dropping the two kids onto the sidewalk. They were unharmed, being 7-year-olds.

"Gimmee that!" Hercule ripped the ad from Krillin's hand and read it, leaving everyone wonderstruck that he CAN actually read.

"Ha! The Great Hercule will easily get a part!" the old fart said, crumpling the paper and throwing it on the ground.

And everyone, not thinking that Hercule could actually have enough sense to get a part, signed up.

The next day, Gohan read the new names for the missing roles.

Harold-Hercule Satan

Chocolat-Krillin Chestnut

Toulouse-Goten Son

Elizabeth-Marron Chestnut

Doctor-Master Roshi Uranai

Gohan sweat-dropped and passed out.

HAHA! I always torture poor Gohan!

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